"Hello there, and welcome to the first in the new series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks. 

Now last time around, we ruffled some feathers. Some feathers were ruffled. A couple of noses were put out of joint, but I think what people have forgotten is that this is just a fun pop show, everything is said in jest, so I thought it would be nice to start this series with something I made yesterday:

*shiny happy music and badly manipulated pictures of kittens*

There you go: I don’t really think that Girls Aloud are boring, or  the Kooks aren’t that good, or that Westlife are a tired a vile disease who prey on mentally-ill Woolworth’s shoppers and find it acceptable to cover a Michael Bublé song from 2 years ago and should be subject to a marathon punching and gouging session before being stabbed in the legs, burnt alive and then stuffed and hung in the British museum under a sign that reads “Dead Old Shit”